Apparently, in some parts of the world “Vegemite“is a myth.

 ”What is Vegemite?” a friend asked me the other day, “Is it like hummus?”

   Stone the crows ! 

 Like hummus? 

For those uneducated in the ways of Vegemite, it is most definitely NOT like hummus.

 Almost beyond description, Vegemite is an Australian breakfast staple.I falter at describing it as a yeast extract (yeast extracted from where?)  but there is no way of describing it without sounding like we spread shite on our toast. 

Salty axle grease!  There I said it……and yet we still eat it……and love it

And if you consider that some people (with more money than sense) imbibe coffee made from beans crapped out of ass of the Civet (a small cat like creature with a wicked caffeine addiction), our yeast based spread seems quite palatable.

So the Vegemite status has set me on the path of discovery.  What other hideous creations exist in the world that people are trying to pass of as food.

Here are a few (and for the record, if you eat any of these…you are a freak!)

Quee

a charming little delicacy consisting of a whole guinea pig……deep fried! 

 That’s right,  little Twinkle and Piggy dipped in batter, then turned into the South American equivalent of a Piggy Mc Nugget

Following a close second, is Quees cousin Monkey Toes.

 The phalanges are deep fried in oil and are comparable to eating grasshoppers or starfish (of course!). 

 Sounds doable, until you consider that monkeys stick their toes up other monkeys bums! 

Consider Birds Nest Soup on your next visit to the local Chinese takeaway. 

 Was there ever any of us who thought this stuff was made from actual birdsnest?

 Well think again.

  Apparently nests snatched from the loving bosom of the Swiflet are very tasty.  It’s the sweetness of the bird saliva that gives it that extra little kick.

  At $80 a bowl, don’t bother.  I’ll spit in it for free.

Codfish sperm.

  Can you imagine the dinner conversation I’d be having with my husband after I’ve tucked into a steaming bowl of Codfish sperm. 

 ”How come you’ll eat fish sperm……..”

Cheeseburger in a can.   This exists…….and I don’t know why!

Along a similar vein is Artichoke flavoured tea in a can. 

I didn’t know I needed Artichoke tea…apparently I’ve been missing out. 

 Need to get me some now!

 Peanut Butter powder. 

 Do I snort it, or shake some in my shoes?

Squid ink Ice cream.

  Ice cream = yum.  Ink = not yum. 

Crushed pearls in Lollipops! 

 Never heard of it?  Well switch on people coz this might just be the product that gives your love-life the kick in the pants it needs. 

Touted as an aphrodisiac, apparently rocks are food now!

Finally, In my own country, you can quite readily find Kangaroo Tails in the freezer section of the local supermarket.

  That’s right, a huge hairy tail.  Not as  popular as you’d think though ..it’s a bitch finding a pot to fit it in

So please, before you judge us harshly, consider the plethora of weirdos out there eating bugs and Pop Tarts.  Some pregnant women eat dirt!

  They are the crazies!  Not us!

For the record, no Vegemites were harmed in the writing of this article.