‘Help, help, ‘ said a man. ‘I’m drowning.’ ‘Hang on, ‘ said a man from the shore. ‘Help, help, ‘ said the man. ‘I’m not clowning.’ ‘Yes, I know, I heard you before. Be patient dear man who is drowning, You, see I’ve got a disease. I’m waiting for a Doctor J. Browning. So do be patient please.’ ‘How long, ‘ said the man who was drowning. ‘Will it take for the Doc to arrive? ‘ ‘Not very long, ‘ said the man with the disease. ‘Till then try staying alive.’ ‘Very well, ‘ said the man who was drowning. ‘I’ll try and stay afloat. By reciting the poems of Browning And other things he wrote.’ ‘Help, help, ‘ said the man with the disease, ‘I suddenly feel quite ill.’ ‘Keep calm.’ said the man who was drowning, ‘ Breathe deeply and lie quite still.’ ‘Oh dear, ‘ said the man with the awful disease. ‘I think I’m going to die.’ ‘Farewell, ‘ said the man who was drowning. Said the man with the disease, ‘goodbye.’ So the man who was drowning, drowned And the man with the disease passed away. But apart from that, And a fire in my flat, It’s been a very nice day.

HAVE A NICE DAYSPIKE MILLIGAN

Reading this to my eldest tonight, brought me swiftly back to childhood memories.  At the time, anything related to my Grandfather seemed dull (like listening to the news on the radio) and irrelevant.  Now I thank him for introducing me to Spike and the wonderful epitaph he left after his death…”I told you I was ill.”