Grown Up Girl Lost

{June 7, 2010}   I can see the future. Can you?

I watched her die you know.  I watched as her marriage crumbled, as she packed her belongings, as she attempted to start again.  I watched as illness took her, day by day, slowly eating away. And all the while, she with seemingly no reason  to fight, let it take her. 

Is this what you will do, now that life has become so hard?  You say not, but I see  it.  You forget I see you, see past you and into you.  You say that you have changed, and I would agree.  You have changed, you’ve gone. 

Elvis has left the building and only the echo of his performance remains.  Do you think an echo will be enough, when the young boys become men?

An echo is nothing, it is a lie.  A lie of a promise, a promise to be, a promise to exist.  An echo is a burden, to be heard but to what purpose?  Like carrying around a dead persons purse, full of old receipts and business cards.  We keep them, but why?  Because to discard and forget is a sin, is a denial of our feelings and thoughts and doings of those we loved. 

 And so to the echo, the echo that sits in our ear, that whispers to us on the cusp of  sleep and wake.  We clutch at it, grasping for its existance, but it is vapour. A willow-the-wisp that twines it’s self through the chambers of our heart, slowly tightening, strangling.

I see you planning this.  I see you, and am powerless.  For the choice is yours.  And your choice has a consequence,  just like mine has.  I set the ball rolling, and you, instead of letting it come to a comfortable stop, will keep on kicking until it is a dead, worn out thing, of no use to anyone.

Nathanie says:

Say goodbye grief, say goodbye pity me and goodbye bitterness. How about
about starting the forgiving process. At first it will feel like I want no I want no part of it and I don’t want to. and that’s your personal journey to get on only when you are ready. Time to say HELLO NEXT!

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