Several months ago I wondered out loud whatever would I write about when I found my happiness? At the time I guess the question was asked with a tinge of wryness. Happiness? Not me! And yet, as the months have progressed, as I endeavoured to flip my life upside down and completely inside out, the happiness started creeping in, staying with me. No longer did it slide off the surface, my psyche like teflon. It stayed, sinking into my bones, under my skin, colouring my world, changing my heart.
And that’s when the writing seemed to dry up, and eventually stop. Had my muse been bumped off? Was that miserable wench up the pub looking for another lost soul to inhabit? Maybe. I feel ok about her going I think. She kept me company through some very trying times. She allowed me to chronicle the slow painful death of my marriage. She held my hand as I wept and thought I would die. She enabled me to pour out the contents of my aching soul into the written word. She was a good friend, as was this blog, and this has been the sweetest, most challenging journey, breaking through my fears and ego and finally writing.
Unfortunately as is the way with a lot of co-dependent relationships…..I don’t need to be here anymore. It’s time for a fresh start, maybe in a place not haunted by old memories and old souls. I know I will continue to write. These is nothing on this earth that will ever kill that. But writing as Girl Lost? No. Her time has passed, and I wish her all the best.
For those of you that know me, really know me or know me through this blog, be happy for me. That is all I ask.
God Bless and take care.